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4:58 A.M

I slept well last night and woke up at ten minutes to three. Narayana came up and we spoke. He’s leaving today for India. I told him to try to come back soon. He thinks he will be less than two weeks away. I’ve chanted twelve rounds so far, and they were good. I paid attention and chanted in my mind. I chanted quickly and enjoyed the accumulation of the numerical strength. After this writing I’ll finish my last four for the minimum quota. Sometimes I don’t finish my rounds until after breakfast, but I always do them before lunch time. It’s a wonderful thing. We are all so grateful to Lord Caitanya for giving us an easy method. We have faith in the scriptures that we’re achieving tremendous good in spiritual advancement by this simple process. Prabhupada was very kind to come in his old age and ill health to deliver the kirtana and give us the japa beads. Somehow we realized the importance of it even in the beginning and took to it with great enthusiasm. Over the years we may have struggled to keep up the enthusiasm, but the commitment is still with us, every day at least sixteen rounds. I’m in touch with many devotees around the world who are keeping their commitments and who are happy to do so. Now if we can only get more people to chant Hare Krishna, then the world can change for the better. If only ten percent of the world population were chanting, great changes would come about. What a great man does, others will follow, and what examples he sets will become the standard. We have to chant with hope that we are leaving a legacy, and our children and future generations will take up japa.

The same thing,
rising early and
fingering the beads.
You are fully satisfied
with the routine
and wouldn’t exchange
it for all the honors
or riches or responsibilities
of the world. Too bad the
prime ministers and presidents
aren’t chanting. We have faith
that by our chanting Krishna is
pleased, and there is betterment
for the planet. Just one chanter
does more than other welfare
agencies with all their endeavor.
Have faith in this and prosecute
your yajna, call on Lord Hari
for the salvation of souls in
devotional service.

Prabhupada meditation

Prabhupada, I’m your servant serving in separation. You’ve gone back to Godhead we say thirty three years now, longer, ’77 you left. ’87, ’97, ‘07, yeah it’s thirty-three years. Hard to believe. But what does that mean, thirty-three years, thirty-three minutes?

We read how Lord Caitanya walked on the road. When he saw the dome of Lord Jagannatha it was six miles to go from where He saw it. But each mile seemed like it took many, many, many years. Because He was so much in anticipation that became the reality to Him. Ecstatic. So ecstatic or not ecstatic what is a few years? And then where do we go? If we think of you, we go to you. That’s why I don’t want to get diverted.

Srila Prabhupada with a gong.

Here’s a picture of you, your left hand is gripping a cloth that’s attached to a gong. One-two-three you’re gonging, one-two-three. There’s a nice cloth backdrop behind you. It’s the Henry Street temple with one of their many different fancy vyasasanas. This one shaped like a lotus. You have yellow roses on you and a big garland with red roses. You can get those kinds of things in New York City in the florist shop right on the garden. You’re wearing soft fabric and soft color, sort of a pale saffron sweater which is open in the front. And a pale pink sock we can see on your lotus foot. Your bed bag and kurta appear to be almost like a light yellow. You weren’t so strict as to the exact shade it had to be. O paramahamsa, O maha-bhagavat, O great preacher, my spiritual master.

You wrote in this letter, “You’re a sincere devotee of the Lord and certainly He will bless you with auspicious advancement in the matter of spiritual understanding.” I’d ask you, “Prabhupada I can’t understand the Bhagavad-gita unless I get spiritual intelligence. How will that happen?” Now I guess I “understand” the Bhagavad-gita, at least with some theoretical jnana. I can answer questions from the vyasasana but still what I was referring to in that letter is still what I’m looking for—that mystical spiritual understanding. Actually I’m looking for love. Love in my own heart in action. Unselfconscious action to serve you to please you in a way that you will recognize.

Wishing I Could Write of Radha and Krishna

Krishna is far away but very
near. My emotions for Him
are distant, but factually He
is situated in my heart in His
localized form. I believe this,
I just can’t feel His presence.

When I think about it enough,
my emotion and perception of
Him arises. He is the God of
all creation, but He has expanded
to be in everyone’s heart.
He is very kind and lenient.
He lets us do what we want,
within limits, but we have
to pay the price for our
actions.

Moments in devotional service
count as eternal credits.
I want this poem to be an
eternal act of devotion to the
Lord of Goloka. It’s there in
Vraja that He sports in
His best, original form by having
the greatest fun and meaningful
exchanges with His parisads.

The gopis love Him
best. They can’t think of
anything but going to Him and
receiving His favor. The topmost
gopi is Radha who enchants
even Krishna. We can hear about it and pray to Him that
our devotion to Krishna may also
attract Him. We are not
beautiful or attractive but
He is bhava-grahi-janardana,
He sees the good essence
in our overall attempt
to live as His willing
servants.

I said I wanted this poem
to be an act of devotion. That
can happen if I direct
it sincerely as praise and
honor of Radha and Krishna.
Think of Him playing His
flute and bewildering the
demigods, think of Him
lifting the Govardhana Hill on
the pinky of His left hand.
There are countless pastimes
beyond even what’s mentioned
in the Bhagavatam.

You just have to think of Him
favorably, the way He cares
for each of us. Think of
the best possible person of this
material world and then multiply
it millions of times, and you
may begin to approach appreciation
for Krishna.

Radha is as good as Krishna.
She’s His tender female
counterpart. The devotees
of Radha say Krishna is important
only because Radha has chosen
Him as Her boyfriend.
However you take it,
She is dear to Him and
that makes Her exalted
beyond the demigods.

My poem is intended as a sincere
act, praising Radha and Krishna when
They meet for a tryst or when
Krishna fails to meet Her which
causes another variety of love
known as quarrel, which Krishna
eventually breaks because He’s
irresistible, and Radha’s friends advice
Her not to put Him off
indefinitely. Krishna never
acts cruelly towards Radha,
He just varies His approach to
Her to add to the flavors
of loving exchange.

Perhaps I should not even
speak of this, but I was
drawn to it by the sweetness,
and I meant no harm.
I actually realize so little
of The Divine Couple, but
Prabhupada has told us
these things and said we have
not taken a vow to boycott
the gopis.

You have to be sober and divorced
from any hint of material enjoyment or what passes as
love between men and women
in this world. If you can do
this you can occasionally write
some lines telling us
you appreciate Radha-Govinda.
You can leave people with
a reminder of the topmost
rasa and something to aspire
for.

Radha and Krishna remain pristine,
and when you are pure enough you
can approach Them in a reverent
mood, serious but joyful.
Touch the love eternal, and
your death will have no sting.

Free write

Today I wrote a poem about Radha and Krishna. In one stanza I said perhaps I shouldn’t be doing it, but it is inevitable as long as you don’t go in over your head. After all, why would Prabhupada have installed so many Deities of Radha and Krishna if he didn’t want us to worship Them? For worship he required that there be a significant number of brahmanas and the temple devotees should be mature in their behavior and practice of devotional service. Gaura-Nitai worship is more lenient as the brothers do not accept offenses. But service to Radha and Krishna is strict. Prabhupada once said if the service wasn’t satisfactory, Radha-Krishna would kick the offering off the altar. Krishna-ksetra Prabhu, the ISKCON minister for Deity worship, told me the standard for Deity worship at home is much more lenient than in the temple. As for writing about Radha-Krishna we can discuss our preliminary attraction for Them without going into details of Their conjugal union. Prabhupada writes that all the pastimes of Krishna in Srimad-Bhagavatam should be relished equally and nothing should be omitted. He actually states that Krishna’s relationships with the Pandavas are as good as His relationship with the gopis. The rasas or mellows are different, but Krishna is absolute and devotional service is absolute. Krishna enjoyed being pierced by the arrows of Bhisma just as He enjoyed the love bites of the gopis. Krishna’s body is not material, and so He was not actually wounded by Bhisma but enjoyed the chivalrous humor.

Duryodhana accused Bhisma of being soft toward the Pandavas and not exerting his full fighting strength against them. Duryodhana held five special arrows for killing the Pandavas and kept them to be given to Bhisma on the day of the battle. But the evening before, by tricks, Krishna managed to get the arrows from Duryodhana. When Bhisma heard this he swore that he would kill the five Pandavas the following day. He would either kill Arjuna or force Krishna to break His promise not to fight. Bhisma fought so violently that he put Arjuna and Krishna into a difficult position and was just about to kill Arjuna. Krishna broke His promise not to fight and grabbed the broken wheel of Arjuna’s chariot and rushed to attack Bhisma. The fighting of the day ended at that moment and Arjuna was saved—at the cost of Krishna’s breaking His promise. On his deathbed of arrows, where Bhisma lay in the company of Krishna and the Pandavas, Bhisma fondly remembered this bellicose exchange with Krishna and worshiped Him as the Supreme Lord, assuring his entrance into Vaikuntha. Bhisma also remembered the gopis and asked for their blessings.